Well, after some... things... happened last summer, I'm finally getting around to really writing a new draft of my story. Here's the Prologue: http://ataleofgassad...0/prologue.html
Please comment if you read it, even if you don't have any critique. If people are reading, I'll write and update more. And if you do have any critique, don't be afraid to share. I'm hard to offend, and I really do want to improve, not just be told I'm awesome.
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A Tale of Gassad
Started by Rujio, Oct 27 2012 03:45 PM
5 replies to this topic
#1
Rujio
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I eat Axel
Posted 27 October 2012 - 03:45 PM
?????????
???????There, katakana. Happy?
???????
| QUOTE |
| Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit |
#2
Rujio
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I eat Axel
Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:22 AM
Yes, I can write too. So you should all go here and read and comment and stuff. Critique would be great, but even just a little "I read this and I liked it" would be nice. If you don't like it, I'd like to know why. Remember: Prologue comes before Chapter 1.
?????????
???????There, katakana. Happy?
???????
| QUOTE |
| Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit |
#3
SmashedFish
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Tom is not for opening
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Posted 21 January 2013 - 03:04 PM
For now, I'm torn between "Shut up, Seloh." or "Go swallow your sword!" for the best line yet. You've clearly spent a lot of time reworking this, though! The levels of detail, description, and dialogue compared to the previous version are incredible.
Images - 11/22 Writing - 5/17 FE: Immortal Shrine
Spoiler
Need help with hacking? Post in the subforum, or Skype me (smashedfish76).
#4
Rujio
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I eat Axel
Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:00 PM
Huh, I never thought of Fyro as being the one with the best lines...
I'm already at a third as many words as last time, and last time I got through chapter 18. Also, this chapter 1 is actually ending earlier than the last one... If I continue expanding the story at this rate, I'll be past 100,000 words by the time I catch up to the old draft.
I'm already at a third as many words as last time, and last time I got through chapter 18. Also, this chapter 1 is actually ending earlier than the last one... If I continue expanding the story at this rate, I'll be past 100,000 words by the time I catch up to the old draft.
?????????
???????There, katakana. Happy?
???????
| QUOTE |
| Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit |
#5
SmashedFish
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Tom is not for opening
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Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:30 PM
That's really impressive, tbh. It doesn't take much to look at what you've got so far and think "wow, that was longer per chapter than last time", but that much? Whoah. You should go full-Bobryk mode with this. 
Images - 11/22 Writing - 5/17 FE: Immortal Shrine
Spoiler
Need help with hacking? Post in the subforum, or Skype me (smashedfish76).
#6
Fire Blazer
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You ready?
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Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:56 PM
Aye, haven't been able to read much but it looks solid and seems to have some nice dialog. Looking forward to hear more about this from you.
Signature thanks to Shu.
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