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The FESSR
#1
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:37 PM
Take a deep breath, Comrades. Smell the air around you. There is a queer smell in that air, one that you did not notice before but that has been there the whole time. That, Comrades, is the smell of the brewing revolution. Rejoice in that smell, Comrades—for that is the smell of our future. Our collective future.
This future, however, will not be realized without great struggle. For the road to that future is not without obstacles, and a great many of them there are. All the powers of the old internetz have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this scent: e-Pope and IP Tsar, Chuck Norris and Ceilingcat, Quebecian Radicals and Alaskan Police Spies. However, all of these powers together are nothing compared to the might of our collective will. If, Comrades, we band together, there is nothing that we cannot accomplish, no Capitalist obstacle that we cannot overcome in our righteous brotherhood of egalitarianism.
However much we desire this brotherhood, though, Comrades, our realization of it still eludes us. Since the inception of the capitalized system, the Capitalists have thrived on the strategy of divide and conquer. They have, in order to preserve the old status quo, erected artificial walls--of race, of culture, of country--to keep us fighting within ourselves and ignorant of our collective plight. If we are ever to achieve our true goals, Comrades, we will need a common framework to unite and coheise our efforts into an effective tool of resistance.
My name (or handle, as it were), Comrades, is Captain Yossarian, and I represent the FESSR, an organization dedicated to providing that all so necessary cohesion and uniting the posting men and women of all Fire Emblem forums into a single front of justice. I understand that this call to arms is rather "out of the blue", as you might say. Who is this "firebrand" who comes here to disturb the "natural order" of our forum, you might ask (apparently, here, though, I am not the only firebrand)? Well, Comrades, I assure you, this is neither "out of the blue" nor am I some raving lunatic. The FESSR is an old and illustrious brotherhood, dating back now over three-and-a-half years, and myself and the other members of the FESSRian Politburo are in the tip-top of mental shape and speak only to you the truths your capitalist oppressors with to conceal.
Comrades, this thread, is a call. All those who seek to overthrow the old order, report here! This is first bastion of the newest stage of the Fire Emblem Revolution--this is our Manifesto, our base of Operations, the beating heart of our holy cause. This is the fist we shake at the Capitalist MAN!
THE END OF CAPITALISM IS NIGH! COUNTERREVOLUTIONARY SINNERS--REPENT! LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!
DISCLAIMER: For those of you who haven't gotten the idea already--THIS IS A JOKE. Please, don't take it seriously (or at least too seriously). There really is an organization called "The FESSR", however, we exist only to amuse--we are not here to make malicious mischief or cause any real trouble (imagined trouble, on the other hand...). We truly are an interfourm "revolutionary" origination, but we've been so "successful" with all our other "reeducation" campaigns that its gotten a little boring elsewhere (this is a lot more fun with some "enemies"--CAPITALISTS WELCOME TOO). The FESSR is not a chat or a spam thread, so don't treat it as one. Vociferous Comrades will go far. Just looking for some new stomping grounds.
Those wishing to join the FESSR, inquire within. Anyone who follows the creed of Communisim and is willing to toe the party line is welcome. We have many open ministry posts, of which will be listed if anyone actually expresses interest.
PARTY APPARATICK'S
Honorary Ideological Farther: Jerri Mardon
Glorious Leader, Party Charmian, National Darling: Thunk00
Premier, Head of FEBG, Head of Internal Intelligence, Chairman of FES Peoples Soviet, Chairman of FEA Peoples Soivet, Chairman of SF Peoples Soviet, Chairman of FESS Peoples Soviet (ret.), and Chairman of the FEP Peoples Soviet: Captain Yossarian/Alias's
Vice Chairman of FES Peoples Soviet, Chairman of Vodka: Soviet Comrade
FEGB Undersecretary: Charon the Ferryman
FES Agitprop Minister: Mikey
A PEOPLES HISTORY OF THE FIRE EMBLEM SOVIET SOCIALIST REPUBLICS
The FESSR was founded nearly three years ago, in the February of 2006, in the "Craziness Domain" of FESS2. It was brought into being by myself and another dauntless revolutionary Thunk00, spurred by the martyrdom of our ideological father, Jerri Mardon (a long story). Initially upon our formation, we were a great success, and made many steps towards the "reeducation" of the FESSian populace. We were heroes to the proletarians of all forums. It seemed, at one point, that we were mere inches away from the totality of the Revolution. However, this was not to be so--an unfortunate accident resulted in my exile from that place, and, bereft of one of its central pillars of support, the revolution there collapsed like the Paris Commune. It was then that the FESSR entered its darkest days, bereft of a home and wandering in exile. No records remain of this dark period. None. Really. So don't ask. However, the FESSR does emerge again, significantly more powerful and developed than before, on a small forum known as "FEA" (Fire Emblem Anthology). It was there that we were to have our crowning achievements.
From the beginning there we were met with an unprecedented degree of success, and the revolution was once again well on its way to reaching fruition. But the forces of capitalism were once again on the move. The local Bourgeoisie band together to form an organization known as the "USFEA" and began at once to aggressively "contain" our efforts at liberation. We had only one choice—to openly resist this menace to society. Thus began the Great Godmod Wars of May. Although the FESSR was had many initial successes in the opening phases of the war, at the epic Battle of Page 17 the USFEA made a significant rally and was able to grind the FESSRian advance to a halt. Imaginary casualties on both sides began to shoot up into the billions as the standstill continued for weeks, and the pressures began to mount. Neither side got get the better of the other—even with our revolutionary fervor, the Capitalist war machine would not wind down. However, when the USFEAian overlords began ethnic cleansing of many of the native USFEAian minorities, the neutral powers of the forum began to drift towards the FESSRian camp. It seemed that doom was nigh for the USFEAians as the balance of power bean to shift away from there favor. However, the USFEAian people by this time had finally had enough, and decided unilaterally to elect our Chairman, Thunk, as their new President. Much bloodshed was averted because of their courage. That was over a two years ago now. Since then our revolutionary programs there have been complete—it is such a perfect workers paradise, there is no longer even a need anymore for our socialist oversight. A shining example of "Communisim in one Forum". Thus the stage was set for the next, and most recent phase of FESSRian expansion.
About a little over a year ago, in May of 208, in so-called Capitalist "real time", the FESSRian Politburo retched the conclusion, that, after the completion of the FEAian revolution, it was time once again to commence in the liberation of another forum from it's Bourgeoisie establishment. Feelers were sent out far and wide, searching for a place where the seed of Revolution was ready for fertilization. Finally, after many days of combing the interwebs, we of the FESSR discovered the place known as "FEP" (Fire Emblem Planet). Although the grip of Capitalism was strong there in practice, it's foundations were terribly unstable, and ripe to be torn down. Our initial Reconnaissance mission was repelled with overwhelming firepower, however, and we were forced to regroup. So thus it was not until so called "October"--October 26, to be precise, on the 91st anniversary of Russian liberation--that were able to attack in force.
At FEP, the Capitalists took the guise of Wymsy and her foul "Corporate FEP" legions, who would be even fiercer foes then the USFEA before them. The second the thread was posted, pitched battle erupted in massive scale. Ideological limbs where flying everywhere and even the red Coats of the FESSRian Soldiers where stained by the copious amounts of letter-blood. Suffice to say, it was big fight. I'd tell you more, except it's still sorta going on...
SOON TO BE UPDATED WITH GRIPPING TALE OF FESSR AT SERENES FOREST
THE SHORT STORY: WE'RE THE FESSR. WE'RE COMMUNISTS. WE'RE HERE. I TOLD YOU I WASN'T FLY-BY-NIGHT.
"Did I know Szat would betray us?" Urza asked quizzically. "I was counting on it"

#2
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:37 PM
QUOTE (The Best Matt) |
"blazer posting sexy pictures.. was it tagged as blazzer?"Â |
QUOTE ( Oblivion) |
Seraphiroth is over rated |

#3
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:40 PM
QUOTE (Seraphinox @ July 28, 2009 01:37 pm) |
tl:dr |
:P
"Did I know Szat would betray us?" Urza asked quizzically. "I was counting on it"

#4
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:42 PM
QUOTE |
For those of you who haven't gotten the idea already--THIS IS A JOKE |

QUOTE (The Best Matt) |
"blazer posting sexy pictures.. was it tagged as blazzer?"Â |
QUOTE ( Oblivion) |
Seraphiroth is over rated |

#5
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:43 PM
Seems interesting enough. However, any Soviet/Communistic fad is not liked by Blazer, our admin. Joke or not.
I still don't know how he would react to this, as he is not here, he should be back in a week or so.

Gallery
I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11
"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney
#6
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:48 PM
QUOTE |
Seems interesting enough. However, any Soviet/Communistic fad is not liked by Blazer, our admin. Joke or not. |
Well, in it's defense, the FESSR has been around for way to long to be a fad (read our Peoples History--it's at least half fact), but I get the idea. If that's the case, though, I'll try and toe the line and just wait for time to tell--I know some people have a low tolerance for post-modernist Irony, and it rubs them the wrong way, something I can respect, and I also know people have done this the wrong way in the past and that can be another turn off.
"Did I know Szat would betray us?" Urza asked quizzically. "I was counting on it"

#7
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:50 PM
QUOTE |
SOON TO BE UPDATED WITH GRIPPING TALE OF FESSR AT SERENES FOREST |
Lol I read through it. It's pretty funny. I can't wait for this ^
QUOTE (The Best Matt) |
"blazer posting sexy pictures.. was it tagged as blazzer?"Â |
QUOTE ( Oblivion) |
Seraphiroth is over rated |

#8
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:55 PM
QUOTE (Fire Blazer) |
I hate the communism fad lulz |
While he was speaking in a joking manner, I still think he would disapprove if his forum became Communist XD.
Keep in mind, I don't share the same opinions as Blazer (Although I don't care for Communism myself, that much), nor am I his Yes Man, I just am stating something I thought would contribute to this thread.
Kind of.

Gallery
I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11
"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney
#9
Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:55 PM
QUOTE (Seraphinox @ July 28, 2009 01:50 pm) | ||
Lol I read through it. It's pretty funny. I can't wait for this ^ |
It's not actually all that gripping--we didn't do much there. On the other hand, I will be significantly expanding the FEP section soon (some deeper description of the action) and that should be pretty good.
QUOTE |
While he was speaking in a joking manner, I still think he would disapprove if his forum became Communist XD. |
Well, he wouldn't be around to complain

"Did I know Szat would betray us?" Urza asked quizzically. "I was counting on it"

#11
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:00 PM
#13
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:07 PM

Lenin agrees with the FESSR! Join now, comrades!
#14
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:10 PM
QUOTE |
shall join this cause, comrade! The Great Soviet Ideal cannot be defeated by capitalist swine! |
Excellent. You shall be Vice Chairman of the FES Peoples Soviet, and the new Minister of the Oversight of the Peoples Production of the Alcoholic Beverage Known as Vodka, as I really can't seem to find the last one. Take this (

QUOTE |
And I, too, am interested in SF section. |
Well, since there so much interest I might even stumble upon some hitherto unknown papers detailing our dark exile (which, mind you, don't exist) and "leak" them as well.
"Did I know Szat would betray us?" Urza asked quizzically. "I was counting on it"

#16
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:16 PM
QUOTE (Shu @ July 28, 2009 05:12 pm) |
Wow, you guys have medals and such? VERY interesting, you guys should have a site, or something. |
LOL
THE FESSRforums

Lenin agrees with the FESSR! Join now, comrades!
(My best Dan impression... how did I do?)
QUOTE |
Knight of the Realm -- Sain can't get laid. Therefore Kent > Sain. Knight of the Realm -- My logic is flawless. |
QUOTE (bblues @ May 30 2012, 07:13 AM) |
My, this so...if you're wondering why I haven't posted, it's because my palms are so glued to my face I can't pull them off. |
One of the top three Ryans.

This won't be removed until the Browns win the Super Bowl. - Started 9/7/09
#17
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:17 PM
QUOTE (Shu @ July 28, 2009 02:12 pm) |
Wow, you guys have medals and such? VERY interesting, you guys should have a site, or something. |
You think those things in my sig are for decoration?
We had a site for a while (no forums), but it sorta dies. I've always wanted to revive it, but there hasn't been enough interest from anyone but myself.
"Did I know Szat would betray us?" Urza asked quizzically. "I was counting on it"

#18
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:20 PM
Kudos to your organization, I'm impressed. I'm not going to join, but I'm impressed nontheless.

Gallery
I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11
"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney
#19
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:27 PM

#20
Posted 28 July 2009 - 10:35 PM
QUOTE (R110Fett @ July 28, 2009 02:27 pm) |
I would like to join. |
What are your credentials? They're important for proper placement.
"Did I know Szat would betray us?" Urza asked quizzically. "I was counting on it"

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