37 replies to this topic

[Kinesthesia]

Post Chuck Norris jokes, and comment on others.



Once, Chuck Norris killed four birds with half a stone. Don't know what half a stone is? Neither did the birds.

[Sothe]

Lawl @ yours. XD

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.

These shouldn't be counted as jokes...Rather, facts.

[Kinesthesia]

Right.

Once someone told me: "OMG I just realised! You can slam a revolving door!"
I said: "ORLY? Chuck Norris can."

[Shu]

Totally, these are facts.

You know how kids wear Superman underwear? Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

[Sothe]

Chuck Norris uses a nightlight. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[Shu]

Chuck Norris dosent swim against the current, the current swims against HIM.

I just made that up now...

[Sothe]

[Kinesthesia]

If Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

[Shu]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

[Sothe]

Can Chuck Norris lose a fight? Only if he thinks he is going to lose, because Chuck is always right.

[Shu]

Found a site for Chuck Norris Jokes, here are the top 10 in popularity.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

[Sothe]

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[Shu]

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

-and-

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

[Sothe]

shada-bam

The original draft of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.


Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. (New!)

[bblues]

[Sothe]

Obviously.

He also orders Barbed-Wire on his pizzas, and nail cereal.

[bblues]

Tsunamis aren't caused by earthquakes, they are caused by Chuck Norris wanting to surf.

[Sothe]

Kids check under their beds for the boogeyman each night. The Boogeyman checks for Chuck Norris.

[bblues]

Chuck Norris expects the spanish inquisition.

(Monty Python reference)

[Sothe]

Chuck Norris can, in fact, touch M.C. Hammer