Jump to content



Toggle shoutbox Shoutbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

@  xcrash1998 : (30 November 2019 - 11:07 PM) New fictional holiday "Index Day"
@  Fire Blazer : (28 November 2019 - 08:52 PM) yeah just guest bots and stuff I think :( we really were active once upon a time though...
@  kirant : (26 November 2019 - 03:48 PM) No invasion. I imagine a lot of guest bots visiting for indexing purposes.
@  xcrash1998 : (26 November 2019 - 02:15 PM) How is most people online at 959 for the 8th of October of this year? Is that right? Did I miss something or was there somekind of spambot invasion?
@  xcrash1998 : (26 November 2019 - 02:06 PM) I know what you mean, it gets awkard to post something unrelated to the current conversation, and even if somebody picks up on it, it would just become a huge mess in the c hatbox if a multitude of groups talk about different topics.
@  Fire Blazer : (10 November 2019 - 11:45 PM) especially better imo if you want to update on a topic but like only occasionally (e.g. a project you're working on or a let's play of a game)
@  Fire Blazer : (10 November 2019 - 11:44 PM) it's hard for me to explain precisely why but forums just like work better for meaningful discussion over a longer period of time ig
@  Fire Blazer : (10 November 2019 - 11:44 PM) but that's def just not hte same ig, idk
@  Fire Blazer : (10 November 2019 - 11:44 PM) yeah, you can also kind of respond at your own pace on forums. Discord conversations are often like... it's awkward to respond to something that happened a while ago, especially if the server is active, but even just in general. since you sort of need to keep track of multiple conversations at once at times, and it's not like it has a good reply/quote system ala forums, closest thing really is to copy/paste or screenshot the text you're responding to and then type a response below
@  Elwood : (09 November 2019 - 11:29 AM) Adding on to what's been said, I just enjoy the order and structure of the forums. You can look through the threads and know exactly what people are talking about. Conversation get lost and buried on discord which is why I'm not a big fan of it.
@  kirant : (06 November 2019 - 05:31 AM) I enjoy that part of forums too. They become niche communities where you can have very specialized conversations as opposed to the cluttered mess in Discord.
@  Ezra : (31 October 2019 - 01:17 AM) Yeah, part of me wishes I could go back to the times forums were more prevalent. I really enjoyed how even several different forums based off the same franchise could feel so different. It's not like what we now is bad though, I just feel nostalgic for old times.
@  Fire Blazer : (30 October 2019 - 06:39 AM) also forums in general are just not as prevalent, there are so many other ways to interact these days, like Twitter, FB, Tumblr, etc., where you can just throw your thoughts into the void. I think that's the real issue and that the only people rly interested in forums these days are either super dedicated to whatever they're about, have a specific reason/need to (e.g. support forums), or grew up with them and are thus attached to the idea enough to continue to try and use them (this was kinda me for a while lol but things happen, I couldn't keep it up forever)
@  Fire Blazer : (30 October 2019 - 06:36 AM) I've posted on SF for various reasons ofc but in terms of like making friends and stuff it's p. much just been smaller groups/forums, yeah. mainly FES
@  Elwood : (27 October 2019 - 10:08 PM) Only reason I'm even on Serenes was because I had hacking questions. @Ezra yeah I figured it must be an age thing. I've been called an old man by many a child because I use Facebook.
@  kirant : (26 October 2019 - 09:39 PM) It's strange. I don't think I've ever posted on Serenes...period. I've always been a fan of smaller forums.
@  Ezra : (26 October 2019 - 05:49 AM) I think it's because a lot of newer FE players didn't frequent forums growing up. And those that do probably end up on Serenes.
@  Elwood : (25 October 2019 - 07:30 AM) I would love to revitalize this place I'm just not sure how that would be done. I mean with how main stream FE seems to have become I'm honestly surprised we don't have more members.
@  Fire Blazer : (21 October 2019 - 08:04 PM) tfw u not coming here results in not seeing a PM from last month T_T ok gonna try and check at least every couple weeks now even if there's nothing here, lol...
@  Fire Blazer : (21 October 2019 - 07:54 PM) I come here almost never because I've fallen out of habit and basically just accepted the forums are dead :( it's neat you come here every day tho

Photo

The LoreKeeper's Tales


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 Scrimsax

Scrimsax

    The Skirmisher

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 219 posts
  • Location:The Tiniest of States

Posted 26 January 2013 - 08:14 PM

So, in direct conflict to my "not going to be around much" post... I'm starting a few short stories in my free time. For now, I'll be uploading the "Chapters," though they are far too short to really earn that distinction, one by one, as I have time.

These stories take place in an as-of-yet unnamed world of my own creation, and mainly follow the adventurers of some unique and powerful beings throughout the land. The stories are told from the perspective of the Lorekeeper, who the first story introduces. The main goal here is to improve my writing, and to flesh out my world a little more.

SO without further ado, here is Chapter 1 of The Lorekeeper's Tales.

And of course, constructive criticism is always accepted.

Attached Files

  • Attached File  545,546   4KB   0 downloads

Master Moogle. Kupo.
 


#2 Lancer

Lancer

    Scrub

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 528 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Canada
  • Interests:Things not related to school. Except English and art. Possibly history as well.

Posted 26 January 2013 - 09:28 PM

I find this interesting. So in the meanwhile, I'll leave a few pointers here just to help clear things out.

", you’re true reasons " -> your true reasons

"seemed oblivious too up to this point. " ->oblivious to

'Makes it easier to go about my life" -> You should add an It before the "Makes it easier" just for grammar sakes.

But yo, I see a lot of potential with this. It's pretty cool yo.

TLPMiniBanner.png

vkWfJfS.png

SUP


#3 Scrimsax

Scrimsax

    The Skirmisher

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 219 posts
  • Location:The Tiniest of States

Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:49 AM

Haha yeah, didn't really proof read it tongue.gif

When I have the time, I'll go through and upload an edited version.

Master Moogle. Kupo.
 


#4 Kuomo

Kuomo

    CONGRAATUALTIONS!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 105 posts
  • Location:North Carolina
  • Interests:MMORPG's, Fine Arts/Graphic Design, Fantasy/Thriller Novels, Anime/Manga, and food. Oh and Fire Emblem.

Posted 28 January 2013 - 05:20 PM

Sounds interesting and it's very well written with lots of details


Other than small grammatical errors, the plot sounds solid (you can't really go wrong with a storyteller or Lorekeeper in your case) and I'm sure you'll be able to deliver exhilarating tales of adventure in your land

I was thrown off a little by this though:
"She was beautiful by any standards. The old man had not felt any stirrings of that type in decades"


ummmmmmm

Other than that, really great and I'll be sure to keep tabs on this as you update!

#5 Scrimsax

Scrimsax

    The Skirmisher

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 219 posts
  • Location:The Tiniest of States

Posted 28 January 2013 - 05:44 PM

Haha I was trying to emphasize that she was beautiful, but the Lorekeeper isn't really capable of that kind of thing anymore. I see what you're saying... I'll correct that in the next draft.

And I considered the Lorekeeper a great vehicle to tell short stories about the myriad people of the world and its workings.

Master Moogle. Kupo.
 


#6 Snow

Snow

    The Combat Medic

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 926 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Santiago de Chile
  • Interests:Tons of stuff, figure them out yourself.

Posted 28 January 2013 - 05:46 PM

I think you should read "The name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss (Might have spelled it wrong). If this plays out like I think it will then it could help you write your story. I want to read more before I tell you if I like it or not because me opinion of things changes very quickly. tongue.gif

P.S. Write faster I want if see if I'm right.
Posted Image
Posted Image
This won't be removed until Chile wins the World Cup - Started 24/06/12
BTW, I take map requests if anyone wants to make one XD, just send me a PM and I'll most likely accept. If you wanna see some of previous work you can visit my gallery here, I'd skip to the end because I've improved alot XD.

#7 Kuomo

Kuomo

    CONGRAATUALTIONS!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 105 posts
  • Location:North Carolina
  • Interests:MMORPG's, Fine Arts/Graphic Design, Fantasy/Thriller Novels, Anime/Manga, and food. Oh and Fire Emblem.

Posted 28 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

QUOTE (Snow @ Jan 28 2013, 12:46 PM)
I think you should read "The name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss (Might have spelled it wrong). If this plays out like I think it will then it could help you write your story. I want to read more before I tell you if I like it or not because me opinion of things changes very quickly. tongue.gif

P.S. Write faster I want o see if I'm right.



HOLY

THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS

I can definitely see scrim's story being similar biggrin.gif

#8 Scrimsax

Scrimsax

    The Skirmisher

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 219 posts
  • Location:The Tiniest of States

Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

Never heard of it, I'll look into it though.

Master Moogle. Kupo.
 


#9 Snow

Snow

    The Combat Medic

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 926 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Santiago de Chile
  • Interests:Tons of stuff, figure them out yourself.

Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:04 PM

QUOTE (Scrimsax @ Jan 28 2013, 01:02 PM)
Never heard of it, I'll look into it though.

Even if it doesn't help you should read it, I liked it a lot but I liked the sequel more. tongue.gif
Posted Image
Posted Image
This won't be removed until Chile wins the World Cup - Started 24/06/12
BTW, I take map requests if anyone wants to make one XD, just send me a PM and I'll most likely accept. If you wanna see some of previous work you can visit my gallery here, I'd skip to the end because I've improved alot XD.

#10 Scrimsax

Scrimsax

    The Skirmisher

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 219 posts
  • Location:The Tiniest of States

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:42 AM

BUMP, edited the first post with a revised chapter 1 and an admittedly rough chapter 2... sorry it didn't have a lot of polish. This chapter goes over the early creation of the world, and then gives some depth to our characters and a little bit of info about the Lorekeepers powers.

Master Moogle. Kupo.
 





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users