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#41 Nayr

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 06:53 PM

Few comments on your synopsis.

"The war in the North is over"

Considering that "The North" was used as the name for the enemy, it might sound better as "The war with the North is over"

Also "The rest of the world is not so lucky" is accurate, but a summary for a book back and advertising should sound more mystical. Something that shows off your literary skills and grabs the reader's attention.

"Freak storm," sounds odd for some reason. Bad storms at sea are also common, and in lesser developed times, the chance of becoming shipwrecked were more than they are now. If there's a force behind the storm, you're implying too much with this. Also you're pretty much saying right there that the inhabitants at the mysterious continent are the same people as the Forest Dwellers who wrote the stuff in that cave.

#42 Bobryk

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:10 AM

QUOTE (Nayr @ Jun 23 2012, 01:53 PM)
Few comments on your synopsis.

"The war in the North is over". Considering that "The North" was used as the name for the enemy, it might sound better as "The war with the North is over"


That's actually the name of the conflict itself, so I kept it like that. If it wasn't then you'd be right.

QUOTE

Also "The rest of the world is not so lucky" is accurate, but a summary for a book back and advertising should sound more mystical. Something that shows off your literary skills and grabs the reader's attention.


Haha yeah I totally agree. The deadline for writing this kinda crept on me tongue.gif I had two hours to write it

I'll be getting it back with their edits and critiques anyways so I figured I'd just send it, lol.

QUOTE


"Freak storm," sounds odd for some reason. Bad storms at sea are also common, and in lesser developed times, the chance of becoming shipwrecked were more than they are now. If there's a force behind the storm, you're implying too much with this. Also you're pretty much saying right there that the inhabitants at the mysterious continent are the same people as the Forest Dwellers who wrote the stuff in that cave.


Indeed-- I like being blunt.

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#43 Nayr

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 04:04 AM

QUOTE (Bobryk @ Jun 24 2012, 10:10 PM)
QUOTE (Nayr @ Jun 23 2012, 01:53 PM)
Few comments on your synopsis.

"The war in the North is over". Considering that "The North" was used as the name for the enemy, it might sound better as "The war with the North is over"


That's actually the name of the conflict itself, so I kept it like that. If it wasn't then you'd be right.

QUOTE

Also "The rest of the world is not so lucky" is accurate, but a summary for a book back and advertising should sound more mystical. Something that shows off your literary skills and grabs the reader's attention.


Haha yeah I totally agree. The deadline for writing this kinda crept on me tongue.gif I had two hours to write it

I'll be getting it back with their edits and critiques anyways so I figured I'd just send it, lol.

QUOTE


"Freak storm," sounds odd for some reason. Bad storms at sea are also common, and in lesser developed times, the chance of becoming shipwrecked were more than they are now. If there's a force behind the storm, you're implying too much with this. Also you're pretty much saying right there that the inhabitants at the mysterious continent are the same people as the Forest Dwellers who wrote the stuff in that cave.


Indeed-- I like being blunt.


1. Understood.

2. Understood.

3. You give away too much in the synopsis. By that, I'm arguably spoiled to several big elements. Be more coy.


#44 Bobryk

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Posted 10 July 2012 - 11:17 PM

HOLY CRAP, I ACTUALLY UPDATED THE BLOG TODAY.

Sorry for the long time without an update (the "whenever I feel like it clause" is in effect tongue.gif).

I don't want to post another excerpt just yet, but there's a little "General Scoop" of Book Two post on the Home Page now. General scoop meaning: what you can expect, how's it different/alike to The Royal Seal, etc.

Enjoy! The next update will probably be an excerpt.

http://thedreamwar.blogspot.com/
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#45 Rujio

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 12:18 AM

Some of the most terrifying themes and imagery every concocted? Are you cocky, or just a salesman? tongue.gif

But I like me my dark stories. wub.gif
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#46 Nayr

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 12:27 AM

From your descriptions of the book and what's on the continent, I'm guessing Africa or South America inspired this mysterious continent they get stranded on.

I also foresee a lot of mind****ing on the characters. They've been raised to believe in a single deity and to denounce other beliefs, yet now they are going to be forced to attempt and barter with the gods of these natives in exchange for their passage out of the place. If it turns out there is something to them, I can see some of the more pious members of the party being offended, upset, and questioning their beliefs.

I also foresee Lloyd's facial expression not changing once throughout the story, except maybe to go from annoyed to angry. tongue.gif

#47 Bobryk

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 01:12 AM

QUOTE (Rujio @ Jul 10 2012, 07:18 PM)
Some of the most terrifying themes and imagery every concocted? Are you cocky, or just a salesman? tongue.gif


Well, I'm in school for marketing...tongue.gif. And oh I am definitely cocky. I actually edited and cut a great deal from one scene because it was a bit too much even for me, and I wrote the damn thing. But yet, you'll be seeing the development of some pretty screwed up stuff.

Also, thanks for inadvertently pointing out that typo XD

QUOTE (Nayr)
 
From your descriptions of the book and what's on the continent, I'm guessing Africa or South America inspired this mysterious continent they get stranded on.


Actually, no, though good guess. I can say this now since I've already spoken of the zany weather, so I'll say the inspiration: living in New England! The weather here is so ****ing weird. tongue.gif

QUOTE


I also foresee a lot of mind****ing on the characters. They've been raised to believe in a single deity and to denounce other beliefs, yet now they are going to be forced to attempt and barter with the gods of these natives in exchange for their passage out of the place. If it turns out there is something to them, I can see some of the more pious members of the party being offended, upset, and questioning their beliefs.


ALL THE MIND****! But yes, they're in for quite the surprise, aren't they?

QUOTE

I also foresee Lloyd's facial expression not changing once throughout the story, except maybe to go from annoyed to angry.


Hah! Gotta love Lloyd tongue.gif

Also: added one teeny tiny bullet I forgot to include the first time.
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#48 Nayr

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 01:59 AM

QUOTE (Bobryk @ Jul 10 2012, 08:12 PM)


Actually, no, though good guess. I can say this now since I've already spoken of the zany weather, so I'll say the inspiration: living in New England! The weather here is so ****ing weird. tongue.gif

ALL THE MIND****! But yes, they're in for quite the surprise, aren't they?

Hah! Gotta love Lloyd tongue.gif

Also: added one teeny tiny bullet I forgot to include the first time.


So New England has jungles, tribals, and Witch-Doctors? tongue.gif

That's certainly a side of America that I've never seen. lol

#49 Bobryk

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 02:59 AM

Ah, yes, the fabled witchdoctors of New England. They're called Red Sox fans

But yeah...maybe that part wasn't inspired by New England tongue.gif
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#50 SmashedFish

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 03:53 PM

QUOTE (Bobryk @ Jul 10 2012, 08:12 PM)
Actually, no, though good guess. I can say this now since I've already spoken of the zany weather, so I'll say the inspiration: living in New England! The weather here is so ****ing weird. tongue.gif


^
Ayup, th'r's a nr'easter for ya. Sho' 'nuff.

Glad to see updates though.

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#51 Bobryk

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Posted 16 July 2012 - 03:54 AM

Not necessarily a blog update, but...

I just massively overhauled the Facebook page, pretty much starting it again from scratch. If you've got a Facebook account and want to give it a "like" I'd appreciate it!

Link: https://www.facebook.com/The.Dream.War

Note: You don't have to be friends with me on Facebook (feel free to add me if you want, just tell me who you are), but you do need an account.

Thanks y'all!





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#52 Bobryk

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 08:11 PM

Double post...woops. But I updated the blog today with a new page! "Oniro Lore and History."

Check it out and the rest of the blog here: http://thedreamwar.b...nd-history.html
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#53 Felover3

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 03:08 AM

Fall 2012 for Book Two? Oh boy, can't wait. I think I already praised you and finished my thoughts on Book 1 before lurking into nothingness, but I'll gladly repeat my thoughts on the second half if I didn't already. Also here's to hoping Adrian becomes popular enough to not fade into side-character status.
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#54 Bobryk

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 03:31 AM

QUOTE (Felover3 @ Jul 24 2012, 10:08 PM)
Fall 2012 for Book Two? Oh boy, can't wait. I think I already praised you and finished my thoughts on Book 1 before lurking into nothingness, but I'll gladly repeat my thoughts on the second half if I didn't already. Also here's to hoping Adrian becomes popular enough to not fade into side-character status.


Thanks! And yes, Fall 2012! It successfully took me less time to write a novel than it did to localize FE13!

and I don't remember you giving your final thoughts on the book but since you said "praises" I assume it was a good review XD and among readers Adrian seems quite popular

Edit: Nvm, fixed them! I think...
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#55 Bobryk

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 02:43 AM

Not an update, and another double post, but this is totally worth it.


BEHOLD (Click Here To Hide/Show Text)

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An obviously photoshopped cover done by a friend of mine as a joke XD. It's my face over Sigurd's, Megan Fox over Rose, and a Bulbasaur.

SO AMAZING. I LOVE IT
so this technically counts as a "real" photo of Bobryk if you don't know what I look like



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#56 SmashedFish

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 12:03 PM

Dat Bulbasaur. XD

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#57 Bobryk

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Posted 06 August 2012 - 03:53 AM

Ohai guys. Forgot to update here (been a bit busy) but...

I FINISHED THE MANUSCRIPT! WOOO. The blog has been updated accordingly biggrin.gif

www.thedreamwar.blogspot.com
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#58 Bobryk

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 07:48 PM

Long time no update!

THREE updates today, including a Book Two chapter teaser and a short excerpt. It's been a while since I've posted a teaser, so check it out!

http://thedreamwar.b...-three-and.html
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#59 Bobryk

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Posted 12 October 2012 - 12:09 AM

Ok, so it's been a while since an update (I've been stupidly busy) BUT there's finally another!

It's the one year anniversary of The Dream War: The Royal Seal! To "celebrate" I'm offering a special promotion, available now through the 18th. If you haven't picked up a copy yet, now's your best chance to! Check out the details here:

http://thedreamwar.b...-turns-one.html


Other big updates are on the way as well, so stay tuned!
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#60 Rujio

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Posted 12 October 2012 - 12:35 AM

So, what if I'm interested in having one of your copies but not in spending $20 to get another copy of a book I already own?
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