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#1 Rujio

Rujio

    I eat Axel

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 02:43 PM

Prologue

Castle Gassad slept quietly. The town surrounding Gassad was silent and still, with the exception of the occasional hooting owl or stray dog’s howl. And then, in an explosion of chaos, the silence was lost to Gassad.
Armored bodies ran through the breach in the wall of the castle. Thunder clapped in the sky above the battle. The guards of Gassad were cut down before they could react to the sudden invasion. The occasional flash of lightning gleamed off of the majestic white armor of one person.
Kertankuse, the White General of Guldar, had come. By this time, the Gassadian guards had organized themselves, holding off the inner castle. Kertankuse and his men charged, leaving a bloody trail in their wake.
A Gassadian soldier burst into the king’s chamber. “Lord Jyron! We’re under attack! You must esc-!“ The soldier began to choke on his blood as a lance grew from his gut.
As the body collapsed to the floor, a flash of lightning revealed the gleaming white armor of Kertankuse. And the terror on Lord Jyron’s face.
Kertankuse pointed his lance at his victim. “I’m sorry, Lord Jyron, but your time is up.”
The king walked out into the open, in full battle gear. “Is that so?” Jyron drew his one-handed sword. The intricate handle of the blade was solid gold, with a green emerald in the pommel. The blade itself was razor sharp, and without a single scratch. He charged his attacker.
Kertankuse narrowly dodged the slash. “A fine weapon. I’d best try not to let it break underneath you!” He thrust his spear forward, slicing through Jyron’s left arm. As he howled in pain, the king viciously lashed out at the White General. Although the blade missed flesh, it cleaved the pole of the lance in two. Kertankuse grabbed one half in each hand and wielded them as double blades. “Good thing I didn’t bring my good lance, eh?”
The two warriors danced around the room, trading blows that rarely met their mark. They seemed equally matched, until Jyron tripped backwards over his soldier’s corpse. Kertankuse took the opportunity and struck Jyron across the face with the blunt end of the spear before tossing it aside. Kertankuse grabbed his stunned opponent and hoisted him up against the window.
With one motion, Kertankuse severed the belt with the gilded scabbard and plunged his spear tip into Jyron’s chest. He brought himself close to Jyron, and whispered, “Goodbye, Lord Jyron.” Kertankuse snatched the blade from his limp hands and shoved him out the window, plummeting toward the battlefield with the spear still stuck in his chest. He closed his eyes for the last time just before he hit the ground.
~~~~~







Chapter 1

It was the perfect day. A gentle breeze from the north, and a soft warmth from the sun. The birds were singing and the squirrels were chattering in the trees all around me. The crystal clear water in the streams shimmered in the sunlight, and the green leaves on the trees seemed to glow under the cloudless blue sky.
But hidden deeper in these perfect woods, there was silence, but for the rustling of the leaves in the wind, the crackle of leaves underfoot. There was not a bird’s song, nor the sound of a trickling stream, not a sign of any living or moving thing besides the trees. In contrast to the harmonious existence I had just seen, this new, eerie setting put me on edge.
And then, a jet black figure came down onto a branch not an arm’s length in front of me, spreading feathers all around. It was a raven, a prophetic figure, often telling of misfortune or bloodshed. It cawed raucously several times and seemed to point at my hand.
I gestured to show that I didn’t have anything, but it persisted. “I don’t have any food for you.” I said as I began to walk past it. Then it flew back in front of me, settled down in the middle of the path, and continued to call out. This time, it pointed towards where I had been standing.
I looked, and what I saw astounded me. A group of what I estimated to be forty soldiers dressed in blue armor. The blue armor of Guldar. But what were they doing there? This force was far too small to be an invading army, but they were coming from the opposing side from Guldar. It made no sense for them to be patrolling so far away. I had been gone for too long. I had to get to Gassad and see what had happened.
~~~~~





Well, there's the beginning of a story I've been working on. There's more to chapter one that I've written, but I don't particularly like it, so I'm gonna rewrite it. Comments, suggestions, critiques, and, yes, even compliments welcome!


Oh, and I hope it's alright that I added those posts that say "Room for future stuff". I did that so that when this gets long enough to take up the entire first post, people can still just read on the first page.
?????????
???????
There, katakana. Happy?
QUOTE
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit

#2 Rujio

Rujio

    I eat Axel

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 02:43 PM

Room for future stuff
?????????
???????
There, katakana. Happy?
QUOTE
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit

#3 Rujio

Rujio

    I eat Axel

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 02:43 PM

Room for future stuff
?????????
???????
There, katakana. Happy?
QUOTE
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit

#4 Rujio

Rujio

    I eat Axel

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 02:44 PM

Room for future stuff
?????????
???????
There, katakana. Happy?
QUOTE
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit

#5 Rujio

Rujio

    I eat Axel

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 02:44 PM

Room for future stuff
?????????
???????
There, katakana. Happy?
QUOTE
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit

#6 Rujio

Rujio

    I eat Axel

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 02:44 PM

Room for future stuff
?????????
???????
There, katakana. Happy?
QUOTE
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit

#7 Rujio

Rujio

    I eat Axel

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 02:44 PM

Room for future stuff
?????????
???????
There, katakana. Happy?
QUOTE
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit

#8 Nils

Nils

    Makes poems so bad you will cry.....out of pity xD

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 11:10 PM

So far so good.
Maybe you should tell a bit about the protagonist though.
Hey everyone! If you're a KH or FF fan, please come to Castle Oblivion to discuss things about them!

Its a bit late now since the forum is practically dead. I almost keep this sig PURELY for sentimental value xD

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