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Slight rant..
#1
Posted 19 April 2012 - 04:35 AM
Hmmm.. I have absolutely no idea where my father is, my mother is suicidal, I've got all these ****ing psychological problems, I can't concentrate in school because I'm always worrying about my mother.. I usually just sleep cause I really don't give two shits about education anymore. My so-called "religion" has just blown up in my ****ing face, honestly, only two things in my life make me feel "happy" and that's my nephew, and my mom, nothing else matters anymore, what else is there for me to turn to, I've tried marijuana, which is good for a few hours.. but then I go back to feeling sad again.. psychology doesn't help..
I don't like living like this, but I wouldn't ever commit suicide, and I don't wanna end up gettin mixed into some serious shit and end up in jail.. it's just so ****ing confusing..
Anyway, sorry for the rant..
"Puberty is the prelude to, and preparation for, sexual as well as emotional maturity and fullfulment in later lfe...".
#2
Posted 19 April 2012 - 03:35 PM
1) Who are you?
2) Right now, who are the two most important people in your life?
3) Are you serious?
Elaborations:
- Who are you... what do you take pride in? What's important to you? What do you want from life? What is your "identity"?
- Judging from the one paragraph I read about you... assuming behind all the jokes etc. you make, this is how you truly are, then, the two most important people to you would probably be you and your Mother, followed by your nephew.
- Take a step back and analyze yourself, your situation... everything. -are you sure you're truly feeling the way you are, i.e. you're not making it up or blowing it out of proportions? I doubt you are, because it doesn't sound like it. But do try not to bury yourself in your own misery. Personally, when I get stabbed, it hurts more if I look at it and go "OMG, I'VE BEEN STABBED, LOOK AT THAT HUGE HOLE AND THE BLOOD!" as opposed to just putting a bandage over it and moving on, despite the pain that's there.
ALso, this is the maturity domain, so
I'm assuming everything here is serious and I'm not wasting my time with a prank or something
so
you should know
I am just a kid online
the biggest thing I can ever do to negatively impact your life is ban you from this forum, and that is NOT saying much.
but I'm also you're friend, so if you're bored or need someone to talk to, I'm also here. you have anonymity when you talk to me--I can't do shit to you, and the way I see you either doesn't change or doesn't matter to me. Also, I am an emotional sissy, so if you go doing dumb shit and you're my friend, which you are, then I will likely be like "the **** is that dumbass doing" in the sort of "I actually care how you're doing" type of manner. I've lost a lot of friends so when I lose those friendships, or people die, it really frustrates me and makes me depressed, so keep that in mind. You don't just have yourself to worry about, you have everyone else in your life. My guess is, your Mother needs you just as much as you need her. Correct me if I'm wrong, obviously. :\
/slightlymorethanaslightrant
Signature thanks to Shu.
#3
Posted 19 April 2012 - 08:10 PM
Aaron, don't do anything stupid for the people that are still close to you, and if you think one of them may try something stupid, remind them of all the pain that everyone else will have to endure for their "solution."
#4
Posted 19 April 2012 - 09:35 PM
Pie = Aaron? LIke, AaronXD?
O___o
And Ryoku
**** you
how dare you try to kill yourself
though
I bet half the people on this forum have been suicidal at once
also this:
QUOTE |
All in all, I realize now, that in general, there are very few decent human beings that aren't too selfish and that actually give two shits about other people. |
True
but
I'd like to think I'm one of them at least
probably only because i've been on both sides of the river
Signature thanks to Shu.
#5
Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:03 AM
#6
Posted 20 April 2012 - 04:28 AM
like Cumore from Tales of Vesperia if you've ever played that game
I try to make the distinction between those people and then go from there XP
Signature thanks to Shu.
#7
Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:31 PM
Images - 11/22 Writing - 5/17 FE: Immortal Shrine
Need help with hacking? Post in the subforum, or Skype me (smashedfish76).
#8
Posted 20 April 2012 - 10:58 PM
Anyway, sorry to hear about how you're feeling. I'm all open ears if you want to talk over PM.
#9
Posted 21 April 2012 - 08:38 PM
I will not remove this until I complete the Ritual of the Mahjarrat quest in Runescape - started 4/18/15 - completed 12/20/15
QUOTE (SmashedFish @ Jan 21 2013, 12:21 PM) Bobryk's expertise with boobs is not to be doubted
#10
Posted 21 April 2012 - 10:44 PM
QUOTE (Elwood288 @ Apr 21 2012, 04:38 PM) |
Man bro thats rough. For what its worth man I'm worried about you and I'm gonna start praying for you. I now alot if not all of the people on this forum care about you. And never forget that Jesus loves you. |
I agree. I too know that allot of people, myself included, would miss you if you were gone. I too, will be praying for you and your life.
QUOTE (Elwood288 @ Apr 21 2012, 04:38 PM) |
And never forget that Jesus loves you. |
Truthfully, don't forget!
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#11
Posted 21 April 2012 - 11:17 PM
QUOTE |
I wouldn't ever commit suicide |
That's the pussy's way out, I'm just gonna man up and get over it.. just see how life changes.. hopefully for the better. Anyway, thanks for the support guys/girls. means a lot to me. <3
"Puberty is the prelude to, and preparation for, sexual as well as emotional maturity and fullfulment in later lfe...".
#12
Posted 22 April 2012 - 02:21 PM
oh wait guys this is mature... uh *serious post*
life gets worse before it gets better. make the pain turn you into a better and stronger person
Signature thanks to Shu.
#13
Posted 22 April 2012 - 03:51 PM
???????
QUOTE |
Bobryk -- holy crap I look away for two seconds and I have knots all up in my shit |
#14
Posted 22 April 2012 - 04:47 PM
"Puberty is the prelude to, and preparation for, sexual as well as emotional maturity and fullfulment in later lfe...".
#15
Posted 22 April 2012 - 06:28 PM
Signature thanks to Shu.
#16
Posted 23 April 2012 - 12:51 PM
QUOTE (Pie @ Apr 21 2012, 06:17 PM) | ||
That's the pussy's way out, I'm just gonna man up and get over it.. just see how life changes.. hopefully for the better. Anyway, thanks for the support guys/girls. means a lot to me. <3 |
Dude, uber respect for this. That's my thoughts exactly, and I'm glad to see that you share them.
Images - 11/22 Writing - 5/17 FE: Immortal Shrine
Need help with hacking? Post in the subforum, or Skype me (smashedfish76).
#17
Posted 25 April 2012 - 03:19 PM
I can understand that you may be feeling a bit...stressed? (Can't think of the right word right now.) But hey. You've been dealing with it just fine from what I've seen. You also have a number of friends who are here for ya not just if ya need them, but if ya want em around too. Me included. If I'm on, I'm happy to talk. And I'm sure their are plenty others too.
As for the suicide note. I'm glad to see that you wouldn't ever commit suicide.
I'm not gonna lie. I've tried to commit suicide several times in the past. But for some reason I just wouldn't die. I'd always recover. It annoyed me greatly. And I didn't hate my life or anything, quite the opposite actually. I love my life. I always have. But the thing that bothered me was that everyone I cared for always seemed to go through problems because of me. The fact that my father always told me that he wished I was gone didn't help either. For pretty much all of my life, I've lived, alone, with my father. So he was pretty much all I had. Then to know that he hated me hit me hard. The fact that he tried to kill me hit me even harder. I've always tried to make my father happy. That's one thing I've always wanted. But nothing I ever did was good enough...Then I figured that if I killed myself, he might be happy because I was gone. So I climbed up to the top of our two story house and jumped off. Nothing happened to me. I drank poison. Nothing. I tried to stop for a bit, and decided to ask anyone else if they'd care if I was dead. Surprisingly, no one bothered to tell me not to kill myself. Heck, a few people even told me to do it. That made me feel pretty bad...I was gonna try to kill myself again, but my girlfriend(She wasn't my girlfriend at the time) begged me not to kill myself. It made me stop and think. It would be selfish of me to kill myself just to satisfy my own wish of pleasing my father. So I decided not to.
It makes me sad though, whenever I see someone think of suicide. Especially if it's one of my friends. If they're even thinking of suicide, it means I haven't done enough as their friend. I feel bad even if they're just feeling depressed.
So I can't stress this enough. Anytime I'm available, I am MORE than glad to talk to you.
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#18
Posted 25 April 2012 - 05:27 PM
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