I asked if I should kill myself. I had been crying out for help for a very long time. And looking back, I very much needed help. I consider myself extremely lucky.
The members who commented on that topic back then saved my life. You helped me in ways I can never repay. You guys reassured me and gave me the courage I needed to keep living. And I'm so grateful for it.
Im writing this post as a thank you and a way to let you guys know that things have gotten so much better.
My anemia is still here. And it still gives me trouble. But I don't need to drink blood anymore. I received financial help that enabled me to get the pricier treatments. I've also been actively taking care of my body through diet and exercise. My body has become much stronger. Pretty awesome.
I no longer live with my abusive family. I've been living on my own for a few years now. And honestly, living on my own is hard sometimes. Bills are tough to pay. But I love it. I love waking up every morning and I (usually) go to bed in a good mood.
My life has gotten so much better, and it wouldn't have gotten better if any of my 22 suicide attempts had been successful. You guys reassured me that time. And I fell back into darkness. I tried to kill myself despite what you all told me. I knew how much you guys loved me, but the pain of my parents hate was too much for me to bare.
But nowadays. I'm no longer held back by them. I'm living my own life. I've grown tougher skin, and when people tell me that I should die, I can ignore them, because I know how much I'm loved. I've gained a fire that gives me the strength to live my life however I want.
A month ago, my house was destroyed in an attack by people that wanted me dead. Luckily, I wasn't home. I currently am living in my car, as I can't afford to get a new place at present. This honestly hasn't deterred me all that much. I was never really home much anyway, as I'm always in my car traveling somewhere.
But despite recent hardships, I can live without doubt, and I love it. I know that not everyone loves me, but that doesn't bother me anymore. I know I'm loved. I know I'm important. And the people who think otherwise can screw off. Including my depression.
I am alive, and I love it. And I thank you all for being my friends.
- Fire Blazer, Golden Warrior, Whitewolf8 and 4 others like this