Jump to content



Toggle shoutbox Shoutbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

@  Elwood : (02 May 2025 - 07:37 AM) When it was active, this place was some of the most fun I've ever had on the internet.
@  Elwood : (02 May 2025 - 07:37 AM) Really wish I liked Discord better so I could hang out with you guys again. I just really prefer forums to Discord. :/
@  Elwood : (02 May 2025 - 07:34 AM) Lol Blazer probably just keeping it up so I can leave it as my homepage for Firefox!
@  Valke : (04 April 2025 - 10:57 AM) wow i cant believe this site is still up
@  acceptance : (27 January 2025 - 08:32 PM) You're right, it really is nostalgic. Totally with Shu on that.
@  Shu : (15 November 2024 - 09:50 PM) Right you are
@  Elwood : (01 August 2024 - 03:41 AM) Wow a new post! ....aaaand it's a bot. Still, it's strangely nostalgic.
@  Oblivion Knight : (26 February 2024 - 11:30 AM) Whoa I can edit a typo. The technology.
@  Oblivion Knight : (26 February 2024 - 11:29 AM) Obligatory message.
@  Elwood : (02 January 2024 - 04:19 AM) Happy New Year!!!
@  Aaron : (13 February 2023 - 09:19 PM) I'm still out here alive. If you remember me, I hope you're doing well!
@  Aaron : (13 February 2023 - 09:09 PM) 2023 and this place is still up huhh
@  Elwood : (05 January 2023 - 07:58 AM) Ah a Christmas greeting from Wolfie! Even if I saw it way late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everybody!
@  Cero : (31 December 2022 - 09:27 PM) Man that bot went crazy
@  Whitewolf8 : (24 December 2022 - 10:02 AM) I return once more on the eve of Christmas to haunt you all again!... Mainly Elwood. Hello!
@  Elwood : (25 November 2022 - 04:58 AM) A bot! Ah the nostalgia!
@  Elwood : (02 November 2022 - 02:30 PM) Yo ho ho ho! Thar be the white wolf!
@  Whitewolf8 : (24 October 2022 - 12:29 AM) Well, blimey it's been a while. Hoy there! If anyone's still alive here anyway.
@  Valke : (21 April 2022 - 12:12 PM) im taking the 2nd shout of 2022 😂
@  Elwood : (03 March 2022 - 10:12 PM) Mwuhahaha! The first shout of 2022 is mine!

Photo

Chuck Norris jokes


  • Please log in to reply
37 replies to this topic

#21 bblues

bblues

    The Greatest

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,547 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United Kingdom
  • Interests:Stuff.

Posted 15 December 2008 - 08:45 PM

The big bang was the result of Chuck Norris doing a roundhouse kick at half strength.

#22 Shu

Shu

    Sealord

  • GFX Artist
  • 1,450 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Arrakis
  • Interests:Pimpin'

Posted 15 December 2008 - 09:34 PM

Chuck Norris has the best poker face ever. He won the 1983 poker championship with a joker, the 3 of clubs, the 7 of spades, a free get out of jail card from monopoly, and a green 4 from UNO.
user posted image
Gallery

I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11

"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney

#23 Felover3

Felover3

    feLURKER

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,020 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:USA
  • Interests:Archery, Guns, Ballroom Dancing, Cooking, Board Games, Magic TCG, Gaming, FE, Lost in Blue.

Posted 15 December 2008 - 09:39 PM

The game Shaq-Fu was going to be called Chuck-Fu, but Chuck Norris could never lose a fight.
-------------------------------------
The Legendary Lurker

"When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes and steal whatever the hell life gave them." ~Me

Has a Blazor Favor

#24 bblues

bblues

    The Greatest

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,547 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United Kingdom
  • Interests:Stuff.

Posted 15 December 2008 - 09:54 PM

Chuck picked up a girl at the bar. Before he took her back to his place, he told Noah to build an ark.

tongue.gif

#25 Sothe

Sothe

    Whisper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 306 posts
  • Location:Forever alone.
  • Interests:...

Posted 15 December 2008 - 11:46 PM

There is in fact no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris doesn't kill.

A Giraffe is the result of Chuck Norris upper-cutting a horse.
user posted image

Signature by Shu.

---


Soren Sonata, Kelly.

#26 Felover3

Felover3

    feLURKER

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,020 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:USA
  • Interests:Archery, Guns, Ballroom Dancing, Cooking, Board Games, Magic TCG, Gaming, FE, Lost in Blue.

Posted 16 December 2008 - 01:18 AM

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.


Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.


Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.



-------------------------------------
The Legendary Lurker

"When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes and steal whatever the hell life gave them." ~Me

Has a Blazor Favor

#27 Fire Blazer

Fire Blazer

    You ready?

  • Creator
  • 12,103 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:U.S.A.
  • Interests:Too many to list. =P

Posted 16 December 2008 - 02:32 AM

Chuck Norris jokes are the funniest...

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, Chuck Norris would win.

Chuck Norris finishes races before they start.

Chuck Norris sued Chuck E Cheeses-- you should know why.

Chuck Norris browses the internet without a computer.

Chuck Norris doesn't call people on the phone, only other people call him.

Chuck Norris has two Y chromosomes.

Chuck Norris makes Tino look girly.

Chuck Norris hacked FESF 4.

Some people have lists of people... either on their good list or bad list. Chuck Norris only has one list; the kill list.

Darth Vader's father is actually Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris were in Fire Emblem he would have his own allegiance.

The reason why there aren't any Chuck Norris games is because everytime he does a roundhouse kick the game crashes.

Chuck Norris doesn't shave, sometimes his hair is just too scared to come out.

Chuck Norris always wins coin tosses.

Chuck Norris beat the Statue of Liberty in a staring contest.

Sometimes Chuck Norris doesn't walk. He just round-house kicks the air behind him and propels himself forward.

There are 3 major laws of phsyics. 1) Chuck Norris is unaffected by any of the minor laws of physics. 2) Chuck Norris can negate physics by round-housing the surrounding atmosphere. 3) Chuck Norris is always right.

Chuck Norris never went to school. In fact, the story goes, somebody asked him a basic math question. This person said that if Chuck Norris (who was already famous and powerful) got it right, he would never have to go to school. Chuck Norris was in an exceptionally happy mood and answered the question, "what is 1+1 equal to?", stating that it was 0. The man, saying it was incorrect, pissed Chuck off and got kicked so hard that he ended up dying and then going back in time and being revived right before the time he was kicked. The genius Chuck explained the reasoning behind his solution:

We begin with -1 = -1, we rewrite that as -1/1 = 1/-1, and then we square-root both sides so that, since a/b squared equals a squared over b squared, we obtain i/1 = 1/i (where i is the square-root of -1). But then multiplying both sides by i would yield i squared = 1, or -1 = 1, whence 1 + 1 = 0.

-----

I'll think up of more later. Most of those are original except a few which I have heard from other people (only 2-3). :/ I suck at it but oh well.

Bblazer2.png

Signature thanks to Shu.


#28 Shu

Shu

    Sealord

  • GFX Artist
  • 1,450 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Arrakis
  • Interests:Pimpin'

Posted 16 December 2008 - 02:37 AM

Chuck Norris dosent read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
user posted image
Gallery

I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11

"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney

#29 Felover3

Felover3

    feLURKER

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,020 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:USA
  • Interests:Archery, Guns, Ballroom Dancing, Cooking, Board Games, Magic TCG, Gaming, FE, Lost in Blue.

Posted 16 December 2008 - 02:47 AM

The reason the Myians believe the world will end in 2012 is because that is the year Chuck Norris deems humans unworthy to live.


Chuck Norris can escape a black hole.

Chuck Norris vs. Duke Nukem on MUGEN will make it crash.
-------------------------------------
The Legendary Lurker

"When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes and steal whatever the hell life gave them." ~Me

Has a Blazor Favor

#30 Sothe

Sothe

    Whisper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 306 posts
  • Location:Forever alone.
  • Interests:...

Posted 16 December 2008 - 02:52 AM

I don't see why Tino is so manly...
user posted image

Signature by Shu.

---


Soren Sonata, Kelly.

#31 bblues

bblues

    The Greatest

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,547 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United Kingdom
  • Interests:Stuff.

Posted 16 December 2008 - 06:25 AM

You know the universe is always expanding? That's because it went one on one with Chuck Norris.

#32 Shu

Shu

    Sealord

  • GFX Artist
  • 1,450 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Arrakis
  • Interests:Pimpin'

Posted 16 December 2008 - 09:24 PM

The only hand that can beat a Royal Flush is Chuck Norris's hand.
user posted image
Gallery

I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11

"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney

#33 Fire Blazer

Fire Blazer

    You ready?

  • Creator
  • 12,103 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:U.S.A.
  • Interests:Too many to list. =P

Posted 16 December 2008 - 11:38 PM

Chuck Norris can make zombies die.

Bblazer2.png

Signature thanks to Shu.


#34 Shu

Shu

    Sealord

  • GFX Artist
  • 1,450 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Arrakis
  • Interests:Pimpin'

Posted 18 December 2008 - 10:26 PM

Chuck Norris asked for a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
user posted image
Gallery

I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11

"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney

#35 Fire Blazer

Fire Blazer

    You ready?

  • Creator
  • 12,103 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:U.S.A.
  • Interests:Too many to list. =P

Posted 19 December 2008 - 02:30 AM

Chuck Norris asked for a Whopper at McDonalds and got one. He also got a Baconador on the side, the waiter claiming "it's better than fast food".

Bblazer2.png

Signature thanks to Shu.


#36 bblues

bblues

    The Greatest

  • Veterans
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,547 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United Kingdom
  • Interests:Stuff.

Posted 24 December 2008 - 08:30 AM

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#37 Sothe

Sothe

    Whisper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 306 posts
  • Location:Forever alone.
  • Interests:...

Posted 25 December 2008 - 10:33 AM

Has this one been done yet? I don't have time to read the whole topic.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
user posted image

Signature by Shu.

---


Soren Sonata, Kelly.

#38 Fire Blazer

Fire Blazer

    You ready?

  • Creator
  • 12,103 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:U.S.A.
  • Interests:Too many to list. =P

Posted 25 December 2008 - 04:50 PM

... Hey Vegeta, what's the scouter say about his powerlevel?

IT'S OVER 9 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

WHAT 9 BILLION

Bblazer2.png

Signature thanks to Shu.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users