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Chuck Norris jokes
#21
Posted 15 December 2008 - 08:45 PM
#22
Posted 15 December 2008 - 09:34 PM

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I will not remove this until the Vikings win the Super Bowl - Started 1/28/11
"i had to google bukkake."
-Boney
#23
Posted 15 December 2008 - 09:39 PM
The Legendary Lurker
"When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes and steal whatever the hell life gave them." ~Me
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#24
Posted 15 December 2008 - 09:54 PM

#25
Posted 15 December 2008 - 11:46 PM
A Giraffe is the result of Chuck Norris upper-cutting a horse.

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Soren Sonata, Kelly.
#26
Posted 16 December 2008 - 01:18 AM
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
The Legendary Lurker
"When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes and steal whatever the hell life gave them." ~Me
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#27
Posted 16 December 2008 - 02:32 AM
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, Chuck Norris would win.
Chuck Norris finishes races before they start.
Chuck Norris sued Chuck E Cheeses-- you should know why.
Chuck Norris browses the internet without a computer.
Chuck Norris doesn't call people on the phone, only other people call him.
Chuck Norris has two Y chromosomes.
Chuck Norris makes Tino look girly.
Chuck Norris hacked FESF 4.
Some people have lists of people... either on their good list or bad list. Chuck Norris only has one list; the kill list.
Darth Vader's father is actually Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were in Fire Emblem he would have his own allegiance.
The reason why there aren't any Chuck Norris games is because everytime he does a roundhouse kick the game crashes.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, sometimes his hair is just too scared to come out.
Chuck Norris always wins coin tosses.
Chuck Norris beat the Statue of Liberty in a staring contest.
Sometimes Chuck Norris doesn't walk. He just round-house kicks the air behind him and propels himself forward.
There are 3 major laws of phsyics. 1) Chuck Norris is unaffected by any of the minor laws of physics. 2) Chuck Norris can negate physics by round-housing the surrounding atmosphere. 3) Chuck Norris is always right.
Chuck Norris never went to school. In fact, the story goes, somebody asked him a basic math question. This person said that if Chuck Norris (who was already famous and powerful) got it right, he would never have to go to school. Chuck Norris was in an exceptionally happy mood and answered the question, "what is 1+1 equal to?", stating that it was 0. The man, saying it was incorrect, pissed Chuck off and got kicked so hard that he ended up dying and then going back in time and being revived right before the time he was kicked. The genius Chuck explained the reasoning behind his solution:
We begin with -1 = -1, we rewrite that as -1/1 = 1/-1, and then we square-root both sides so that, since a/b squared equals a squared over b squared, we obtain i/1 = 1/i (where i is the square-root of -1). But then multiplying both sides by i would yield i squared = 1, or -1 = 1, whence 1 + 1 = 0.
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I'll think up of more later. Most of those are original except a few which I have heard from other people (only 2-3). :/ I suck at it but oh well.
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#29
Posted 16 December 2008 - 02:47 AM
Chuck Norris can escape a black hole.
Chuck Norris vs. Duke Nukem on MUGEN will make it crash.
The Legendary Lurker
"When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes and steal whatever the hell life gave them." ~Me
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#30
Posted 16 December 2008 - 02:52 AM

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Soren Sonata, Kelly.
#31
Posted 16 December 2008 - 06:25 AM
#33
Posted 16 December 2008 - 11:38 PM
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#35
Posted 19 December 2008 - 02:30 AM
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#36
Posted 24 December 2008 - 08:30 AM
#37
Posted 25 December 2008 - 10:33 AM
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

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Soren Sonata, Kelly.
#38
Posted 25 December 2008 - 04:50 PM
IT'S OVER 9 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
WHAT 9 BILLION
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